rockandrollvampire | Duplicity Inbox

[Bad night and bad sex he gets well enough. But what the actual fuck did his boyfriend just say??]

You what? [Immediately he's running over everything he can sense about his boyfriend. He smells plenty alive, with nothing dead or decaying about him. There's no marks on him, either, though he supposes they could've faded by now if he'd been bitten, bruised, or anything else hours earlier. His heartbeat is fine, if a bit fast because he's upset. He'd reach out to touch just to be sure, too, but that... might not go well with Dorian's given mood.

Okay, not a vampire. Probably not recently sired either? But if that's true, what the Hell happened tonight?]

What did you do tonight, Dorian? Who did this to you? What did they do to you?!

[Not entirely free of panic or suspicion, but that can't be helped. Dorian didn't give him much of anything to go off of when he dropped that vampire tidbit on him like a cooler of ice water over a winning football coach.]

[Registering Toby's panic, Dorian's hands come up in a reassuring gesture as the other man moves closer. Now that he's had time to recover from the feeling of being dead, the sensation is more like a lingering depression at the edges of his mind, vague and something he has distance from, rather than the all-consuming nothing it'd been in the moment. It's not something he'll be trying again anytime soon, but it's over.]

Nothing-- promise. I'm fine now, and at the time it wasn't anything I didn't want, either. The consequences were just... more than I was expecting. [How does he even begin to explain what happened this evening? Frowning, Dorian grips at the bottle of oil in his hand.]

I don't know if you've seen him yet. He lives in [Suite number.]? Grayson Frost. He's a vampire, but different to you, and one with psychic and magical powers. I met him when I arrived, and tonight we met at a bar and went back to his suite for psychic mind-meld sex. [He'll pause as he gives that a moment to sink in. And as Dorian starts to think about the experience, his annoyance begins to build. He huffs.] It was billed as being about getting a window into the experience of fucking myself, but it ended up being a one-way trip into learning exactly what vampires mean when they talk about bloodlust and death.

[A pause, and his expression softens slightly as he surveys Toby's face again. He knows exactly what something like that means to the other man.]

It's everything you've ever told me about.

Edited 2022-07-31 23:22 (UTC)

[That is... a lot. A lot more than he was expecting, honestly. He thinks he gets the "fucking myself" bit (at least at an abstract level of wanting), but the rest is... just...]

I need a drink.

[He doesn't say anything else as he turns, pours them each a triple, and chugs his like it was a glass of beer. This shit now tops his list of weird sex things, because the idea of a mind-meld, a real mind-meld, is goddamn insane. That's the shit that lives in Star Trek and isn't real. Except, apparently, in Duplicity.

Pouring himself another double, Toby sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair.] You sought out another vampire for this? You wanted to... I donno, to feel like you were inside of yourself? Isn't there anyone else you could've gotten this with?

[He's trying not to get stuck on that part, but it's hard not to. Dorian knows his feelings about other vampires, yet he courts shit like this? He sighs again and down his double.

There's more here and he knows there's a prompt to get him to talk about being a vampire in it, but he'll be damned if he starts in on that before he gets an answer to his own questions about all this.]

[He's unsurprised by Toby's reaction to hearing that Grayson's a vampire, but there'd been no point in lying about that aspect of everything. Not with Toby.

Once his drink is poured, Dorian reaches for it to sip at it.]

I didn't go looking for it. He offered, and I was curious. [A considering pause. When he speaks again, his tone is an attempt at conciliatory.]

He has control-- an unnatural amount. [It's what makes him so tightly-wound, in Dorian's opinion. But he also understands, intimately now, the reason for all that control.] I felt it. In five months he's never tried to bite me, and I've never asked him to. I didn't just waltz out onto the street and hunt down a vampire for a psychic experience-- for a while I didn't even know he was one.

[He's sure that doesn't make it much better for Toby, but he doesn't know what else to say about it.]

Edited 2022-07-31 23:56 (UTC)

[All this could be much worse, but it's still... not... great. Which makes it harder to take this in calmly when he's still trying to get over it being another vampire who did this to his soulmate. This Grayson didn't bite his boyfriend, but he's still being intimate with him in ways that make Toby anxious, suspicious, and, honestly, pissed off.

God, he could storm down to his suite and smack this asshole across the face. He's lucky Toby's focus is where it needs to be right now: on his obviously upset and fraught boyfriend.

In an attempt to ease his mind about all this, the vampire searches out the cigarettes he discarded and lights one. As he exhales a long, thick puff of smoke, he sighs and plants himself against the vanity.]

Glad he knows who to keep his fangs out of. [It's as mild a dig as he can manage right now. This Grayson can eat a bag of rusty nails, as far as he's concerned. Now, tomorrow, and every day for the rest of his damned life.

Sighing again, Toby takes another drag from his cigarette and runs a hand through his hair. Now that he knows how this came about, he should probably address what Dorian's been picking at. He chooses to do it by using this Grayson's feelings to avoid having to own up to his own.]

He'd be dead if he didn't. None of us survive long if we don't figure out how to keep our shit to ourselves. Or we become true monsters that spark ghost stories for children and horny uni co-eds. [Another puff of smoke.] At least if Grayson's doing the latter, he's keeping it strictly to the hornier folks.

[Picking up a hint of the jealousy train rolling in, Dorian rolls his eyes.]

You can stop that, because after whatever happened tonight he threw me out of his suite. [He still doesn't understand why, and it's a very fresh and confusing thorn in his side.

Dorian settles in, however, when Toby starts explaining-- well, his feelings through the lens of someone else's experience? That's about what it sounds like to him. Dorian listens intently, sipping at his drink again. When Toby's finished, he nods. Still, there's one part of this that's bothering him, after the experience he just had.]

For you, though... [He hesitates. This is such a sore subject for Toby that he wants to be careful with it, but doesn't really know how.] When I melded minds and sensations with him, there was the bloodlust, but there was something else, too. Being near me and the life in my body pained him.

[He watches Toby closely. Is it the same for him, too?]

[Fuck off with your eye rolls, Dorian. Toby's allowed to be jealous and unhappy about another vampire getting intimate with you in ways he can't.]

Good riddance. [It's not like they need to keep exploring whatever it was they tried to open between them, as far as he's concerned. This is his soulmate, and he gets a goddamn say in this when it's another vampire.

Nevermind that he'll capitulate easily because it's Dorian and the man's already given him more commitment than ever before here in Duplicity. He has a right to be angry right now, thank you very much.

He feels those eyes watching him, and he pointedly avoids them as he takes a very slow drag from his cigarette.] You don't hurt me. [That's important to point out.] But that doesn't mean it's hard for me to resist what you represent as a human.

[Dorian is his lover and soulmate, but his body still screams at him near constantly that he's also a source of life and sustaining himself. He can keep it at bay easily enough after centuries of practice - Dorian craving to be bitten often helps to that end - but it's still always there.

And he doesn't want to talk about it.]

Whatever this Grayson's got that I don't, I don't envy. Being burned by what keeps you fed must be literal Hell.

[It's not good riddance when it's an actually worthwhile friendship, but even a worthwhile friendship doesn't hold up against Toby. Sensing the start of real indignation, Dorian frowns. Reaching for Toby's free hand, he steps closer to walk himself between the other man's legs from where the vampire's sitting on the vanity.]

You're more important to me than any vampire, any person in either this city or any other. [He lets go of his hand and cups Toby's cheeks with both of his own.] You know that.

[He listens intently to Toby's answer, and feels settled in it. It's clear that it's a subject that's not getting much further, but the question he really wanted to ask, Do you feel the death in your body when it's against life? has been indirectly answered.]

It was. I don't know how someone stands something like that-- I certainly couldn't, in the moment I felt it. But I suppose age makes anything bearable, given enough time. [He breathes out.] It was educational. Before I came here, I thought I knew death on every level a person could feel or experience it. Turns out there's an entirely other one.

Edited 2022-08-01 03:08 (UTC)

[He can give that much to Dorian easily. He nods and, in acceptance of the offered olive branch, holds out the cigarette for the other man to grab should he want it.]

I know. We have other lovers, but it's all about me and you. [A short beat, and his lips quirk up on one side.] It's why you're getting me a ring for my birthday, yeah?

[Look, he's excited about this, okay??

If Dorian had asked his actual question, he would've gotten a slightly different answer. He took the question at its face; being close to the younger man isn't physically painful. It does, however, niggle at the back of his mind how he's not alive whenever they're together. The thought's overridden by the euphoria that is being together with his soulmate, but he never fully forgets. The constant reminder is one of the many things that piled up so high that the only way he could think to knock them all over was to go watch the sun rise over the beach. After coming back from death, it's simply easier to accept that for what it is when they're both present in their relationship.]

Means a lot more when you're actually-- [Ah, no. No, he won't finish that thought or sentence. He shakes his head.] Being a different kind of monster changes the perspective on it. I'm sure Ivor thought different, as did his pet siren. It's different when you deal it out to survive. Not that you always have to go that far or can't find alternatives, but it--

[He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, taking one of Dorian's hands from his face into his own.]

Comparing it isn't helpful. It's different for me than it is you or this Grayson. You know the difference now, and that's all that matters.

[Dorian accepts the offered cigarette, but leans in for a kiss before he settles back enough again to take a drag off of it. When Toby squeezes in the comment about the ring, the shamelessness of tacking it onto their conversation makes Dorian chuckle.]

Yes. If that's what you want, that's what you're going to get. [He brings the cigarette back to Toby's lips for him to take it back.] I'm not going back on agreeing to that.

[Even if he's not completely convinced getting it won't lead to a network-wide post showing it off. His cultivated infamy will survive... somehow.

He's a little surprised, though, when Toby starts expanding on the topic he was prepared to let go of the way the other man always seems to prefer.]

Are you saying that I'm a death amateur? [He's immediately amused, and being a little facetious.] I've probably died more times than everyone in this city put together.

Edited 2022-08-04 21:50 (UTC)

It's what I deserve after how long you made me wait for it. [He throws a mock pout at his boyfriend before accepting the cigarette.] You really know how to keep a girl on the hook, you know.

[Shame? Toby doesn't know her. He chuckles and is about to offer another quip about it when his thoughts are cut off at the knees by Dorian's pointed comment. The vampire's face shifts into an uncomfortable expression as he shifts his gaze to the far wall over his boyfriend's shoulder.]

That's not the death I was talking about and you know it. And don't tell me you've killed and been killed before - we both know that, and it's irrelevant to this discussion. [Dorian killing someone because they killed him first, or because they were in his way, or whatever reason isn't the same as what a vampire does to survive. Nor does it even begin to compare to the fact that a vampire is death in every sense. The man may have an understanding after feeling it, but he doesn't get to be flippant about this, not in front of Toby.

Exhaling heavily, Toby drags on the cigarette to finish it, snubbing it out amid a cloud of smoke. This kind of conversation is the pits and he hates it. They always seem to find it when he's least ready to handle it, too. Tonight's no different when he was out partying with strangers and reeks of cheap liquor and sex for hours on end. That last part, conveniently, becomes his out for this particular moment.]

Let me up. I need to shower. [He'll allow Dorian the chance to move himself, but if the man tries to put hands on him or to prevent him from moving, Toby's absolutely grabbing him by his hips and moving him out of the way.]

But have either of us regretted it for even a moment? [...A few times actually, most likely, but on the whole?

Oops. All of the amusement fades from Dorian's expression as Toby suddenly starts backing away from their conversation, hard.]

Toby. I didn't mean anything by it. All I was trying to do is lighten the mood so we could move on.

[He does lay his hands on the other man's neck, only to be grabbed and forced out of the way as Toby gets up to leave. Dorian starts to follow after, when it quickly becomes clear it won't be allowed. He huffs out a sigh, and simply lets the man go.]

I'll draw the bath, [he calls after him.]

You could've said anything else and been fine, [he snaps. Dorian knows how difficult this particular subject is, so "joking" about it like that? It was only ever going to go poorly.

He shrugs at the offering of the bath in favor of jumping straight into the shower. Water's cold and he really couldn't care less right now. This whole thing sits poorly with him. Soulmate getting heavy with another vampire, laughing off all his deaths, trying to make light of shit that's so heavy he literally drowned in it at one point.

How did he ever think this would get a laugh?

Toby sighs as he washes off, taking extra time to scrub himself and wash his hair thoroughly. It won't get rid of the shitty feeling this conversation has left just beneath his skin, but it'll at least offer a real distraction from it with how raw his skin is afterward.

After about 15 minutes for his shower, the vampire returns to the other man, dripping wet and with a towel wrapped around his hips. He doesn't meet Dorian's gaze as he slips past him to pour another drink and light himself another smoke.]

Rose oil? [he asks, exhaling a puff of smoke. It's obvious from the scent, but he's trying to prompt any conversation that isn't about what came out prior to his shower.]

And yuzu blossom.

[Dorian looks up at Toby from where he's sitting in the tub, water up to his shoulders and shining in the low candlelight as the surface ripples. He surveys the vampire's face, trying to suss out his mood, and if his shower had helped anything.

If it did, it doesn't seem like much.

Looking to make amends, he reaches out to the other man, offering his hand to encourage him down into the bath with him. He truly would rather spend this time with Toby, but he's not going to force it if his misstep has soured things too much for the night.]

I wanted a scent profile that was fresh and alive.

[His face twitches a little at the use of the word 'alive' but he quickly moves past it by throwing back his most recent double. He ignores the offered hand for now, opting instead to bring both glasses and the open bottle of scotch over. He pokes his cigarette between his lips as he sets it all out next to the tub, then sits lightly on the edge of it.]

It's a good mix. [What shitty small talk he makes! He exhales another smoke filled breath, then offers the cigarette to Dorian in lieu of getting in. It's the start of meeting him halfway.]

Another drink? [He could certainly use another seven or so.]

[When Toby doesn't take his hand, Dorian lets it drop to fall on the other man's towel-clad thigh instead when the man comes closer. Making an offer of comfort and connection that he doesn't know his boyfriend will receive or reject right now.]

A triple. [He accepts the cigarette with his free hand and takes a short drag, smoke curling away from his face and fingers on the exhale. When he looks back up at the other man again, he frowns softly.]

Please, Toby? I wanted us to spend the night together, after... well, you already know.

[He's not sure he's ready for what Dorian's reaching for, but the man's sincerity always wins out in these moments. His reaction to the end of the conversation is almost certainly going to come back round - if not tonight then some other time - and he'll simply deal with it however he has to then. For now, at least, there's a cigarette between them and drinks to be had.

Toby takes the time to pour them each a triple, then stands. He shakes off Dorian's hand and the towel before carefully slipping into the tub next to the other man. Rather than try to reach for something more their usual speed, he distributes the glasses between them and takes a first sip as the warmth of the bath starts to wash over him.]

Hell of a night, [he jokes darkly and without any mirth. Might as well take a poke at it in the hopes they can find a way to laugh it off later.] Seems some things don't change no matter the scenery, yeah?

[There's some relief as Toby decides to join him. Once the vampire is in the tub beside him, Dorian slips an arm around his side and leans into the other man a bit.]

In a place like this? I shouldn't think so. [He courted some of it in this instance, but supernatural occurrences are a part of his life. It's not surprising when they happen, if he's in a place where they can.]

There's much more to this city than there appears to be on its face, Toby. You saw some of it yourself when they shipped us to Insincerity for those games.

So I've gathered. [His tone is less than interested in the offering. He hadn't meant anything about the city, but rather its residents; Dorian likely knows that, and if he didn't... Toby sighs and drags at his cigarette.

Why did it have to be another vampire? That opens the door for so much more shit than he ever wanted to talk about with his soulmate, let alone ever think about.

Switching out the smoke for his drink, he sips slowly. Time to find... something to talk about that isn't any of the shit that's been dragged out after Dorian's run-in this evening.]

What's the plan, then? Soak and drink until we're ready to pass out? [He helps himself to another drag of the cigarette before offering it to the other man.] Dunno how late you were planning to stay up tonight.

I didn't have a plan, but soaking and drinking until we pass out sounds as good as any to me. [Because he doubts they're having sex when the other man's in a mood. Really, he just wanted to be around Toby, and for the normalcy of their relationship to help even him out after touching death.

Not that this feels terribly normal when Toby's now primed for brooding, but rather than poke the bear any further (stirring up or forcing a big argument right now is the very last thing he's interested in) he's going to try and push them past it.]

Race you? [After taking a puff off their cigarette and handing it back, Dorian raises his triple of Scotch indicatively.]

[Yeah sex is completely off the table until they've both gotten some sleep and the vampire some space from all this. He only hopes it doesn't linger long enough to affect his birthday. Ugh, that would be awful.

He huffs a laugh.] You'll lose, but sure.

[Toby allows Dorian a few seconds head start as he snubs out the remainder of the cigarette, then casually tosses back what remains of his triple in a single gulp. Win or lose, he'll pick up the bottle and start pouring himself more as soon as his glass is empty.

He holds out the bottle in Dorian's direction when he's finished helping himself.] Another? I sure as Hell need it.

[Dorian does, indeed, lose the attempt to down his entire drink faster than the other man. He brings his glass down as soon as it's emptied, issuing a hiss of a breath at the burn. If they're not going to be able to have a quiet evening to help him shake off his night with Grayson, this works, too.

When Toby offers, he holds out his glass for another refill. As soon as it's full, he leans back into the side of the tub, settling more deeply into the hot water and against Toby's side as he waits for the drink to hit.]

What did you get up to tonight while I was gone? [Attempt at a conversation shift: made.]

[Sex may be a no go, but if Dorian's going to lean into him like this, Toby is absolutely taking advantage of it. He drapes an arm around his soulmate's shoulders as he sips at his latest pour, getting as cuddly as the man will allow.]

The usual. Cheap liquor, someone easy on the eyes, some almost 80s music at a dive bar. [He shrugs, not really wanting to get into it.] Nothing out of the ordinary.

[He's really good at small talk tonight. He'd feel sorry about it if he wasn't in such a mood.]

[There's a lot of cuddling that can happen when he's feeling as remotely penitent as he ever gets. Downing another half of the most recent refill of his drink, Dorian settles into the vampire's hold.]

Man? Woman? [He'll press a bit, but not much more than this if Toby's determined not to offer much give.] Someone you think you'll be finding again for a good time?

[He is genuinely curious, though. What kinds of company does Toby seek out in his free time, when it's been so long that either of them have had anything that could pass for friends outside of their relationship?]

Edited 2022-08-07 18:04 (UTC)

[The cuddling helps, honestly. Not completely, but enough that Toby's willing to answer the other man's questions without reservation.]

Bloke tonight. Pretty, but not a repeat performer. [The sex was fine, but the personality was less than compelling for him. He shrugs again and sips at his drink.] They can't all be hits like that elf woman I told you about last week. She can have my attention any night we've got nothing planned.

[Cinder was a riot in the best way. And with some patience on his part, he can teach her the whole 80s catalogue of karaoke songs! Who needs a steady relationship when you can have a fun, exuberant friend-with-benefits who loves (enough of) the same trashy things you do?]

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cw: brief mention of suicide

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cw: mentions of murder, multiple deaths

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