rockandrollvampire | Duplicity Inbox

I'm working through a backlog of almost a year, darling, and we didn't exactly have much time after I told him for me to come clean before-- [He frowns as he takes the cigarette.] Before you went away.

[Bloody Hell, even with Dorian back, that shit hurts to think about. He pulls hard at his smoke before exhaling and addressing the question at hand.]

Suppose so. Not that I'd call what we have "trust" at this point, but it's as good a word as any. Closer than anything I can think of. [Maybe that makes it actually trust? He honestly doesn't know, and right now, he's not too interested in figuring it out.

Another slow drag, and he frowns as he exhales away from the other man.] I'm sorry, Dorian. I should've told you when I told him. Talking about anything is hard for me, and I'd hoped that spilled secret would stay buried. [More the fool him for trusting his shit luck. Worse still that it dragged his husband into bad things. Again.]

[Dorian takes his savouring time with the next drag off his cigarette, to give himself time to decide whether he really cares, after all, that someone else knows about this part of their lives. Being surprised with the reminder had hurt, but was it that different to the countless people, creatures, and gods back on Earth who were always pointing out his follies and flaws, to try and hurt him?

No. This really was nothing. What'd been more surprising, was the change it represented.

Toby has a friend. Albeit a clever and dangerous asshole of a friend, but a friend. Friends, even. They know people here, and that makes everything different to the way they left things back in Mayfair. Even with his city memories back, those memories of their time back on Earth, and then the year that followed it when he was alone, are still the freshest ones.]

That's turning into a theme with us in this place, isn't it? [It's offered with a touch of tired, wry humour, as he scooches himself over closer to the other man.] Not having talked about things we ought to have, or that we never had time to.

Think there's any chance we get around all of that without it meaning something else comes back to bite us? [... probably not, and he knows it. But, god, it'd be great if it could work out that way.]

Edited 2024-04-26 00:45 (UTC)

I doubt it. [There's no way his luck doesn't rub off on them enough to have them staring down something they're either not ready for, have decided they never want to deal with, or both. He's loathe to think about it too deeply lest he come up with something he knows will bother him more than the fact that he's opening himself up to his husband emotionally right now.

Sighing, he commits to the seat next to Dorian and slumps into it, angling himself toward the man.] If it's not me doing something while drunk [or Dorian doing similar] it'll be the city forcing it out of us. They do love having us "share our truths" with others quite often. More than one person who's been sent home has secrets of mine I'd not have told them if I'd had the choice.

[It's a price they pay for being here and together. If it's the worst one that comes up, though, he'll take it. Won't make it suck any less when it does shit like this to their evenings, but at least this is better than being kidnapped, tortured, or forcefully ripped apart on the city's whims.]

[Even without Toby's confirmation, his own memories of Duplicity are enough to get Dorian to the same conclusion on his own. Duplicity's fetish for digging up unsavoury truths is the entire reason he thought he could pre-empt them by outing himself for all that he is.

But even that wasn't enough, and it's now clear that it never would have been.]

So ... the score is that no matter what we do, we're going to end up here, time and again. [He sighs, exhaling out curls of smoke as he sits with that knowledge for a moment.]

Y'know, [he realizes] as far as you and I are concerned, I don't think it matters. [As much as neither of them likes these kinds of talks, haven't they been through so much worse, together? Don't they keep choosing one another, despite all that ever happens to them or what they do to each other?]

Edited 2024-05-05 03:09 (UTC)

[Dorian's right, of course. The two of them have shared so many secrets and gossiped about so many things over their years together that there's really no harm in them being truthful with each other. They've been making efforts to do just that anyway, but the city forcing it out of them isn't likely to be as much of a problem for a pair of immortals as it would be anyone else. Mortals do love to keep their secrets for any number of reasons, and the city exploits that whenever it likes.]

The problem is when other people hear the truth and we neglect to mention it to one another? [He offers the guess around a drag of his smoke.] Or that others try to use those truths against us?

[He shakes his head.]

Not even that. [Pointedly, he adds:] Can you imagine this place doing anything worse to us than the things we've already gone through? I can't.

After what it's already done to us? No, but I'd not imagined them putting you in the Pit or you being in a coma for a month, either. They're too imaginative.

[The real problem with this goddamn place: the various tortures they put everyone through for God knows what reason. The fact that LIES can make him feel so powerless - helpless - puts him on edge.]

Point taken, but I still don't think it matters. No matter what happens to either of us, or what secrets come out, haven't we been through enough to know that we're going to keep choosing this? [A tentative beat, and then he adds,] ...Choosing us?

[God, that feels corny to say, but it's the truth. He's certain about Toby, and has been for years, up to and including the times the man was dead.]

There's nothing you're going to find out about me, or vice versa, that's going to be enough to come between us. [Right?]

Of course not. Nothing you could ever do or say, or have done or have said, could change my heart. You're it for me, always will be.

[He frowns and reaches for Dorian's left hand, rubbing his thumb over the man's ring when he gets hold of it.] I didn't make you think otherwise, did I? [He's not done something so colossally stupid as that, has he?]

[No matter how much time they spend together, the cascading years will never take the shine off of Toby telling him he loves him unconditionally. Even now, this man is still all he truly wants.]

No. [He smiles, and turns the hand in Toby's to hold the other man's.] But if you did, knowing me, I'd chase you until I won you back all over again. [Probably even be a little toxic about it, t b h.

After a beat, he adds, decisively,] I'll let Lestat alone. Honestly, all I was really trying to do was get a better sense of him. [All of this is only slightly his fault.]

You wouldn't have to try hard this time. I already know I'm better off with you than without. [He might still cause a bit of a scene, but he's a diva. That's simply a necessary thing when you love drama.]

Is that so? [Toby remains unconvinced. See: the eyebrow cocked in your direction, husband.] So that's how you backed him into telling you what I'd told him?

[How dare you say things that are absolutely true, Tobias.]

I asked him a few questions. They weren't polite, yes, but I was trying to find out if he was in love with you. If he'd given me a straight answer early on, I wouldn't have had to push him.

Edited 2024-06-06 03:27 (UTC)

Uh huh. [This is his unimpressed voice, Dorian Gray.] So that's why you came 'round to me after to yell at me. Because you just "asked him a few questions" about a touchy subject.

[He is most definitely smirking at you as he smokes, husband. Deal with it.]

[Deflect. Defleeeeect.]

That's quite a thing to say, when you're the reason he had anything to throw at me to begin with, darling.

Yes, but I'm a diva. Drama follows me without me trying. It's not my fault Lestat decided I was worth protecting or that I reminded him of Louis. It's also not my fault you assumed he was in love with me.

[So there.]

Ah, that last part is your fault. If you hadn't made such a big deal out of a makeout session and just told me everything, there wouldn't have been a chance for me to fill in the blanks on my own.

[Does the blame here actually matter? No. Will he continue bickering stubbornly with Toby? Yes.]

Edited 2024-06-08 15:12 (UTC)

It is not. You were the one assuming terrible things because I didn't want to be forthcoming about something that's... [Bloody Hell. He's going to say this out loud and it tastes disgusting in his mouth.] Frankly, it's embarrassing.

[Oh God that was disgusting. He needs a drink after that. His cigarette will do for now.]

Which was mad, frankly, because even if you weren't my [I can't remember if they're married at this point or not, insert boyfriend/fiancé/husband here.] I'm the last person to think anything of someone else's sex mistakes.

But it's Lestat of all people. Of all creatures here. And neither of us even wanted to do it, let alone get vulnerable with each other after. That is wholly embarrassing for me.

[You know damn well why, Dorian. >:( ]

And who else would understand why that was embarrassing for you, besides me?

Maybe it was something helpful, in a strange way. [He quickly holds up a finger to pre-empt the balking that's going to come after that.] Not because it happened with Lestat, but because it happened with a vampire, at all.

You say that as if it was supposed to make it easier to talk about. [It absolute does not, and Dorian knows that. There's no need to be rude about this, soulmate.

You're still getting a very cross look for suggesting making out with a vampire at all was a good thing.] I'll remind you that Vanessa and I had already done similar when the city put on a porno in the park one night. I didn't need to do it with Lestat. [A man who revels in being a vampire. Gross.]

[He sighs. They're hitting a point where he can tell it's better to stop while they're ahead.]

Fine. If I agree with you on that point, are we through arguing about it?

[Thank God he's won that. (He did not actually win this.)]

Yeah, we're good. [He finishes off his cigarette and puts the end of it out in the nearest ashtray.] Are you actually going to leave Lestat alone over this going forward?

I won't mention it to him. [He can't make guarantees if Lestat brings it up to him, but he doubts that's happening unless things somehow escalate in a bizarre way.] You're friends, so what more is there to say?

[Whoa whoa whoa. Did you really just call them friends? Toby looks positively scandalized. Yes, they talked about this already, but don't say it so casually!]

We're not really friends, darling. We each put up with each other a bit, that's all. Don't conflate that with friendship. [That's just unnecessary.]

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