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[rockandrollvampire]

[Looking for your resident 80s loving, Madonna worshiping, nerd of a vampire? You've got him. Leave a message for Tobias Matthews here!

@ madonna4ever
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[rockandrollvampire]

You wouldn't have to try hard this time. I already know I'm better off with you than without. [He might still cause a bit of a scene, but he's a diva. That's simply a necessary thing when you love drama.]

Is that so? [Toby remains unconvinced. See: the eyebrow cocked in your direction, husband.] So that's how you backed him into telling you what I'd told him?

[mayfairmonster]

[How dare you say things that are absolutely true, Tobias.]

I asked him a few questions. They weren't polite, yes, but I was trying to find out if he was in love with you. If he'd given me a straight answer early on, I wouldn't have had to push him.

[rockandrollvampire]

Uh huh. [This is his unimpressed voice, Dorian Gray.] So that's why you came 'round to me after to yell at me. Because you just "asked him a few questions" about a touchy subject.

[He is most definitely smirking at you as he smokes, husband. Deal with it.]

[mayfairmonster]

[Deflect. Defleeeeect.]

That's quite a thing to say, when you're the reason he had anything to throw at me to begin with, darling.

[rockandrollvampire]

Yes, but I'm a diva. Drama follows me without me trying. It's not my fault Lestat decided I was worth protecting or that I reminded him of Louis. It's also not my fault you assumed he was in love with me.

[So there.]

[mayfairmonster]

Ah, that last part is your fault. If you hadn't made such a big deal out of a makeout session and just told me everything, there wouldn't have been a chance for me to fill in the blanks on my own.

[Does the blame here actually matter? No. Will he continue bickering stubbornly with Toby? Yes.]

[rockandrollvampire]

It is not. You were the one assuming terrible things because I didn't want to be forthcoming about something that's... [Bloody Hell. He's going to say this out loud and it tastes disgusting in his mouth.] Frankly, it's embarrassing.

[Oh God that was disgusting. He needs a drink after that. His cigarette will do for now.]

[mayfairmonster]

Which was mad, frankly, because even if you weren't my [I can't remember if they're married at this point or not, insert boyfriend/fiancé/husband here.] I'm the last person to think anything of someone else's sex mistakes.

[rockandrollvampire]

But it's Lestat of all people. Of all creatures here. And neither of us even wanted to do it, let alone get vulnerable with each other after. That is wholly embarrassing for me.

[You know damn well why, Dorian. >:( ]

[mayfairmonster]

And who else would understand why that was embarrassing for you, besides me?

Maybe it was something helpful, in a strange way. [He quickly holds up a finger to pre-empt the balking that's going to come after that.] Not because it happened with Lestat, but because it happened with a vampire, at all.

[rockandrollvampire]

You say that as if it was supposed to make it easier to talk about. [It absolute does not, and Dorian knows that. There's no need to be rude about this, soulmate.

You're still getting a very cross look for suggesting making out with a vampire at all was a good thing.] I'll remind you that Vanessa and I had already done similar when the city put on a porno in the park one night. I didn't need to do it with Lestat. [A man who revels in being a vampire. Gross.]

[mayfairmonster]

[He sighs. They're hitting a point where he can tell it's better to stop while they're ahead.]

Fine. If I agree with you on that point, are we through arguing about it?

[rockandrollvampire]

[Thank God he's won that. (He did not actually win this.)]

Yeah, we're good. [He finishes off his cigarette and puts the end of it out in the nearest ashtray.] Are you actually going to leave Lestat alone over this going forward?

[mayfairmonster]

I won't mention it to him. [He can't make guarantees if Lestat brings it up to him, but he doubts that's happening unless things somehow escalate in a bizarre way.] You're friends, so what more is there to say?

[rockandrollvampire]

[Whoa whoa whoa. Did you really just call them friends? Toby looks positively scandalized. Yes, they talked about this already, but don't say it so casually!]

We're not really friends, darling. We each put up with each other a bit, that's all. Don't conflate that with friendship. [That's just unnecessary.]

[mayfairmonster]

[You're totally friends, Toby. Dorian huffs a laugh.]

'Frenemies', then. Is that better?

[rockandrollvampire]

[Why must you be like this, Dorian? Toby puts his hands on his hips and pouts at the other man. The drama is in full swing right now and he will have as much of it as he damn well pleases.]

Is there a caveat we can add about him being the worst kind of monster to that?

[Yes he's being petulant about this. He's still mad (and embarrassed) about their whole messy makeout session!]

[mayfairmonster]

He's the worst because he revels in his vampirism? [He elevates an eyebrow at Toby.] Because Lestat and I share some similarities, if you haven't noticed.

[rockandrollvampire]

[Must you really continue to be so rude, Dorian?]

Pretty sure I've mentioned it to him in the past. I've at least thought it plenty. [He shouldn't have to spell it out to Lestat, though.] But there's plenty different that makes you better, starting with the fact that you have more sense than he does.

[Maybe that's a bit of a stretch in certain situations, but at least Dorian's never called him some other lover's name.]

[mayfairmonster]

[Who cares about that? At least point out a trait he has that he actually likes about himself, Toby.]

Is that all? Because you sound like you're grasping at straws.

[rockandrollvampire]

[How did this spiral out of control so quickly? God, why is his luck always this shit? Toby sighs and lifts a hand to tick off a few more reasons.]

You've a soul. You've better taste than he does, your love of gin aside. You're not French. You being an entitled shit at least comes with the ability to easily pop your ego without you going mad over it.

[Ah yes, we've come to the "playing dirty" portion of this ridiculous argument.]

[mayfairmonster]

[He wasn't that invested in this, but Toby only pointing out superficial differences is getting him there. If he's a monster, he's a complicated and misunderstood one, damn it.]

Glad to hear that the only noteworthy differences are skin deep, [he grumps sarcastically.] You forgot to mention that I'm a brunette, and he's a blond, too.

[rockandrollvampire]

Ah, but your book says you're blond, [he teases. He can hear the grumping, and now that he's gotten that, he'll give a more complete answer.]

You've a way of looking at things he simply doesn't, darling. You both may see the world as something to take and use as you please, but there's a difference in the way you do it. His is a way of violence and satisfying his need for blood however he wants in pursuit of self-satisfaction and beauty. You, though... you want and you take, but you never stop looking for what makes someone or something beautiful. You see me as something beautiful even when I'm not, and I doubt Lestat could pull that from himself the way you give it so easily, if he can at all.

[mayfairmonster]

[That's... a lovely compliment, actually. Full of truth, and a gracefully offered observation. Dorian smiles slightly, and takes a long drag off his cigarette to allow himself time to sit here and enjoy what he's heard.]

Sweet-talker. You're right, though. I don't see his appreciation for much escaping the lens of what he is. [Which isn't a problem in his eyes, but vampirism is a lot of hunger, violence, and blood.]

[rockandrollvampire]

Only for you, darling. [He "sweet talks" plenty of people into sex or whatever else he wants in any given moment. Only Dorian ever gets his true appreciation, though. No one else in any world deserves that from him.]

You're a unique person, Dorian Gray. No one will ever have your combination of beauty, intellect, and thirst for aesthetics and depravity. I'm a lucky man that your obsessive nature kept you coming back to me once I found you.