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[rockandrollvampire]

[Looking for your resident 80s loving, Madonna worshiping, nerd of a vampire? You've got him. Leave a message for Tobias Matthews here!

@ madonna4ever
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[rockandrollvampire]

[...uhhhhhhh.]

Are you going to slow down at any point to let me catch any of these?

[unwillingdevil]

What in the hell did you tell that damned husband of yours?

[rockandrollvampire]

[Oooooooooh

shit]

Nothing bad. Just what happened when we-- well, you know. That's all, I swear!

[Excuse him panicking and forgetting that Dorian suggested the whole "Lestat is in love with you" thing that night.]

[unwillingdevil]

After you went to such lengths to make sure I said nothing?

[TOBY. TOBY WE HAD A DEAL]

He is reaching out to me now and seems entirely convinced I am determined to sweep you off of your feet away from him, the maniac.

[rockandrollvampire]

He cornered me! Couldn't shake him loose for anything!

[He really did try to keep it to himself. It's not like he wanted to share the embarrassing story of the city making them make out. The rest of it was shared because gossip with your soulmate is necessary as an immortal.

Ahahaha fuck.]

I told him that was ridiculous. That one's on him for letting his imagination run wild. [He's washing his hands of Dorian's insanity on this point.]

[unwillingdevil]

[There is some relief in the fact that Toby doesn't seem to agree with Dorian. Thank Christ for that. He's not sure what he'd have done if both of them were buying into this delusion.]

Yes, well, he seems to have entirely embraced the idea. Seems convinced we, or I am hiding something and that was why it was a secret, as opposed to it being simply embarrassing.

[rockandrollvampire]

I told him to drop it! I don't bloody control him. If he made his mind up, I can't change it for shit.

[The marriage thing was a one time deal. Everything else? He's as shit out of luck as you, Lestat.]

Just-- [A sigh.] Just tell him again it's a stupid idea and that he's got it all wrong and eventually he'll get the point and drop it. [Probably.]

[unwillingdevil]

I have. Believe me, I have. He acts like a dog with small prey in his jaw all the same.

How much of all of it did you tell him?

[Because it's not clear if Dorian just knows about saying Louis' name, or all the rest of it. ...probably all of it, judging by Toby's response, which is just fantastic.]

[rockandrollvampire]

[There's a few too many seconds of silence, and then:] Well I didn't tell him about the rats part of Louis' diet.

[So, yes, basically everything. He's genuinely sorry about that one, Lestat.]

[unwillingdevil]

[Lestat makes a pained, aggrieved sound. Phenomenal. He'd done such an excellent job of not discussing Louis with anyone outside of Claudia and Rip before this, and even when he'd told Toby, at least Toby had been empathetic. And now Dorian know, the gloating bastard.]

You have the self-restraint of a bookie at a horse race, do you know that?

[rockandrollvampire]

It's Dorian, you asshole. And he cornered me. Literally. What was I supposed to do? He can tell when I'm lying and we're trying to be better about talking here.

[The gossip part maybe wasn't necessary, but they were talking about Lestat, so that was inevitable because... well, of course it was???]

[unwillingdevil]

You could have told him the bare truth of our little rendez-vous without spilling him every detail.

Besides, you were quite insistent that I not tell a soul, if I recall.

[rockandrollvampire]

I tried! [A beat.] I started there! It all came tumbling out when he kept prodding.

[He's terrible at keeping gossip from his soulmate of all people. Expecting that is a losing battle, even if Toby's leading the charge to make it happen.]

You can be as angry as you want about it, but there's no changing it. I was trying to keep the embarrassment to ourselves.

[unwillingdevil]

Tobias, you truly have less restraint than half the people in those experiment chambers that were undergoing actual torture.

[It's done, he knows it's done, but he is just so fucking irritated after he'd done so well keeping things tamped down. Between this and having other personal horrors yanked out of him during experimentation process, the city was entirely dedicated to dragging all of it out into the open all in the same goddamned month.]

If you want things to be considered over and done with, might I suggest finding some way to get your beloved to stop messaging me.

[rockandrollvampire]

[For fuck's sake. How did this get so out of hand? He groans and draws a hand down his face, sighing.]

Fine, fine. I'll find him and deal with him. Can't be far since I'm home. [Probably.] I'll have him off your back soon enough.

[unwillingdevil]

Good.

[It doesn't fix everything, since Dorian seems determined to be a rank little shit, but it's something.]

Better it be you than me. I imagine you'll be far more effective, and I have far less inclination to be kind.

[rockandrollvampire]

[Oh my God will you stop threatening his soulmate, Lestat?!]

Yes, thank you, I get it already. I'll get him to shut his mouth by putting something better in it.

Now bugger off. I've got him from here.